It's quiet. I've been putzing around, still in my pyjamas at 5 p.m. The rush and stress of preparing for that big day, that oh-so expensive day, is over, and it feels like a weight has been lifted, although, at the same time, the feeling of "what next?" looms heavily. I've been painting today, which is always very gratifying especially when you feel like you've earned the privilege to do so without explanation, because there is always something else that seems more important needing to be done.
The past two weeks have been kind of a blur for me altogether. I worked my ass off at the office, went away for a weekend at the most inopportune time of the year, but for a totally realistic reason not needing to be validated, I started and completed all of my Xmas shopping within less than a week's time, received amazing news via email, and then, not too long after, less than encouraging news. Talk about a roller coaster ride filled with emotional highs and lows... but, hey - I like roller coasters, and I have no intention of getting off this ride just yet.
Amongst all of this chaos, I started a small painting that I was hoping to have finished for Christmas day itself, but that didn't happen. I did work on it in spurts, in between running around and gift wrapping, but my constant battle with staying on top of the laundry seemed to take precedence... oh, did I mention that my washer decided to conk out just one week ago?! Yah... there's a bit of a black cloud hovering lately.
This painting, albeit not a masterpiece, is encouraging (for me at least) especially with how I've perceived it, and the title I've given it. The reference is from a photo I took on Christmas day two years ago. I've always wanted to paint it. It is of my nephew, a very curious little boy, not unlike most boys his age. Two year olds don't seem to have any qualms about grasping at anything, at whatever is in front of them, at breakables or seemingly irreplaceable items, dangerous or not, they take chances without really understanding the risks. Why do we as adults lose this ability to just go for the gusto, grab whatever is in front of us, and run? We are more cautious, always weighing the pros and cons, and validating our reasons for every move we make. Not anymore though... for me. I too am going to explore every opportunity that presents itself to me, there's no holding me back anymore... it's all there, right in front of me... within reach.
Within Reach - Watercolour - December 2011
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